It’s day 9 of my Picture A Day Weight Loss Journey and it’s been a tough few days.
When I first started this journey I promised God (and myself) that I would not let it become an idol in my life. It’s embarrassing how quickly I broke that promise.
Just before Christmas, I let one day go by without being in the Word or in prayer – making the excuse that I was just too tired. I had, however, still managed to get a workout in just minutes prior.
Then, because I was hosting Christmas Eve at my house, I let that day go by…then the next, then the next.
And so here we are today, and the last three days without the Word, without subjecting myself to the Will of God, I’m at the crux of marital strain that simply does not need to exist.
Those of you who have been married any length of time (or have been in any sort of committed relationship) know that just one moment of self-indulgent pride can spiral off into a pattern of self-worship that can have lasting and devastating effects on the marriage relationship.
Of course, our issues are bigger than just those presented in these blog posts. Our issues run deep and have growth in strength and fever over an eleven year period.
But, still, this week’s conflict centered around my weight loss journey, and a perception I’ve beens struggling with that my husband has left me to fight this battle alone.
By chance, I stumbled across an AMAZING article written by a pastor with whom I attended college. He has grown into a bastion of theological wisdom and focuses much of his energy on building up the Body of Christ in issues pertaining to the marriage relationship.
Of course, when I saw his article, Duties of A Christian Husband: A Husband’s Handbook, I was immediately drawn to it, admittedly thinking, “it will be good for my husband to hear the truth from a pastor – he obviously doesn’t want to hear it from me.”
And, yes, the Lord was able to use it in my husband’s life (a fact for which I can take ZERO credit), but what I wasn’t expecting was for Him to use it in mine. Although it was affirming to hear this godly man outline the exact areas that have been causing turmoil in our marriage, at the end of it, all I could think was how selfish I have been. How immature, bitter, and contentious I was becoming. And how hopeless my future was beginning to look.
But God’s grace and mercy are bigger than my pain, and His faithfulness surpasses even the most stubborn self-worship.
After a long and emotional discussion, my husband and I were able to openly address some of the issues that our selfishness had created.
And one of them was, you guess it, this weight loss joinery. I was able to communicate how hard it has been for me this past week and my husband was able to freely offer his support and encouragement.
It’s not that our circumstances have changed all that much, it’s that God has changed our hearts.
The past couple of days my posts have been a bit depressing, childish even. I’m not naive enough to think there may not be more like them on the journey set before me.
But I do know that God has lavished on me everything needed for life and godliness and I intend to cling to that Truth with every ounce of strength I have now and any time I am tempted to to love myself more than I love my husband.
Until Next Time My Friends,
The Taylor of All Trades