Today was a hard day. Although this picture was taken just minutes after I finished my workout, earlier this morning I had a discouraging, deflating, disconfirming meeting that, although not weight loss related, set a negative and emotional trajectory for my day.
When I got home from this meeting, I wanted to give up on everything: eating right, exercising, loving other people, seeing the positive side of all situations. It was the first time this week that I’ve wanted to eat a bunch of crap just because it would be the easy thing to do, it wouldn’t require any thought or self-discipline on my part, and it would have made me feel so comforted to return to the known.
But by God’s grace (and with the help of a very, patient, loving husband), I was able to take a step back, gain some perspective, take a quick nap, and regain the determination without which this whole project becomes impossible.
About two weeks before I started this journey, I read an article that just so happened to have popped up in my Yahoo! news feed. The article’s main argument was that people procrastinate for emotional rather than practical reasons. They would rather not start something as a means of avoiding any possible negative outcomes than start it and run the risk of failing or being rejected in some way.
I don’t know if this is true of all people, but it gave me pause, and forced me to ask myself if it might be true of me. To my dismay, I realized it was.
As someone with a Type-A, perfectionist, hard-driving personality, failure isn’t just about not being able to get something done, it’s a reflection of who you ARE. To fail at something is to BE worthless, BE useless, BE undesirable, BE meritless…and not just in the case of that one thing. As a perfectionist, to fail at one thing is to fail at everything.
And that’s why today’s meeting was so hard for me. Relational issues aren’t easy for anyone, but this issue cut to the core of who I am, of how I know God made me – and wants me to be. So, to be told that that person is unwanted, is to be called a failure. And to fail in this relationship is to fail in all that I endeavor to do.
That’s the false, depressing perspective I was clinging to before running all of this by my husband. Praise God for that man! He is so patient with me, so loving, so kind, so understanding – I would be lost without him.
He showed me that my perspective was contrary to Scripture and that the only way to move past it was to…move past it. Let it go. Refuse to let the lies I was believing fester and distort the Truth of God’s Word.
By God’s grace He healed every ounce of pain I was feeling, and filled me with peace that surpasses all understanding.
And once that happened, once I realized I am called to honor God in all that I say, think, do and feel, regardless of the difficulties presented by other people, I was able to put it all behind me. Poof. It was just…gone.
And that’s what allowed me to turn from the temptation to let my emotions dictate my actions and do what seemed impossible – eat well and exercise.
So, in a way, there are things that are interconnected, but only insofar as they seek to honor God. When one’s heart is submitted to Christ, honoring Him in ALL areas is a joyful calling!
Here’s to fighting through the distractions and discouragements – both physical and emotional.
Until Next Time My Friends,
The Taylor of All Trades